Late night post! I am totally in the mood to write and since i finish the homework i wanted to start i might as well dive into this now.
So, the other day on my long drive to JMH i was sitting in traffic very close to my house so i knew it would be a long way before i made it. My mind started to think about things and as i am thinking about what bills are due and what cute shirt i can buy at TJMAXX i look to my side and see this older man, late 40's maybe early 50's super into picking his nose. To me i think that's seriously the worse thing you can do in the car. I'm no angel but i sure don't pick my nose in the middle of rush hour traffic when hundreds of people are possibly staring at you. As i am thinking how gross he is and how i would kill my husband if he sat there and did that, the man probably dug into his brain.
HE WOULDN'T STOP!! I felt like lowering my window and seriously telling him something, i didn't know what i would say but something along the lines of HELLO CAN YOU STOP! LOL! i don't know but Jesus Christ i was annoyed already! As we kept moving little by little and i would look back every once and a while the man was still at it...i think 15 mins had past and that guy was seriously going at it. He must have been harvesting some old and big boogers in there! I mean come one 15 MINS?? really is it necessary? I questioned if he had any damn paper in his car? Couldn't he just blow his nose and do it in a more appropriate fashion?! No of course not. That morning god put him in my way to simply drive me insane!
As all of this is happening I'm thinking, I'm going to offer him tinted windows i must make him aware of how disgusting he is and prevent anyone else from suffering this misery i am going through right now LOL! I know what you all must be thinking, why did you keep looking? why not switch lanes and move on? By now i was intrigued to see how long he would keep it at. LOL! The man would even lower his mirror and look inside his nose, and i found myself thinking, hes probably saying "Come out, come out where ever you are!" LOL! I couldn't help it, i was getting a kick out of this. Seriously! I eventually drove off onto the 836 and didn't see him anymore. But i must have been next to him for a good 30 mins. Possibly even more!
This is just one of my biggest pet peeves! I can think of a million things that i can't stand, just like so many of you posted on my FB status. Chewing like a cow, slow computers, etc...
LESSON LEARNED HERE: DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE IN THE CAR UNLESS YOU HAVE VERY, VERY, VERY, DARK TINTS! THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED TO SEE THIS STUFF! THANK YOU!
XOXO,
Daema
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I miss you!
Gosh soon it'll be 10 years...10 YEARS!!!! How has my life continued without you in it? its funny when people say "life goes on", its true. Through all the pain, adjustment and sacrifice we experience, our mind just gets in gear and robotically we live. Then it hits you, its been so long since I've heard your voice, seen your face, thought about our memories!
My friend Carlos was such an amazing person. With a smile he would light up my day and shower it with hugs and kisses. He was the absolute friend, one of a kind. I remember everything we did together. I remember shopping on the phone with you and describing my clothes and you would tell me what to buy and what not to buy. I remember all the notes we used to write to each other and how you would tell me things you wouldn't trust the guys to know.
My friend, my angel, you live in my memory forever. Not a day goes by that i don't think about you and what life would be like if you were still here. How i could count on you for everything. You wouldn't judge me, i could tell you anything without fear of having you make fun of me and i know you felt the same way. I remember the last day i was able to see you and be with you. That Friday was so gloomy, the weather was horrible in school and i wasn't able to walk the same way that i usually did to see you and give you my daily letter. So you came to see me in algebra. You were so sweet. You came in and asked the teacher to let me out since i had already used up all my bathroom breaks LOL! And she let me go. Till this day i thank her for that. Those moments with you were incredible, i remember you hugged me and told me you loved me and i was the most special girl in the world. I praise that moment now more than ever because it was the last time you said it to me.
The next day you died. that Saturday night i was suppose to be with you and all the others. We should have been at the movies in dolphin mall. Fate works in mysterious ways and i will never truly understand why things didnt go as planned, why you didnt go home to sleep like you said you were going to do, why that motorcycle crashed that night, why you couldn't just get up and say you were OK. I remember getting a phone call at 5am from Miguel. And of course i thought it was a cruel joke. Since you guys were always playing with me. When he started crying i realized it was real. When i hung up the phone i was confused i started calling your cell but it was off. i couldn't believe it i ran to my moms room and was barely able to tell her what happened. I didn't eat real meals for days. The pain of losing you was horrible. We weren't friends for a long time but it sure felt like we were. In the little tim Seeing you dead was by far the worst test god has put me through till this day. How was closest friend lying dead in a casket at the age of 15? Why did my heart have to hurt this way? You were so cold and you just didnt look like you. We got to know each other we became so close. Why did god take you from me?
There were so many things i couldn't share with you. That year you weren't at my 15's. You would have been the life of the party...i wish i could upload the video of that day so you could see that you were mentioned and we prayed for you. We all had a good time but deep down all of us knew you weren't there. We weren't able to grow together. To experience life, our goals and dreams.
I wonder how close we would be now? how you loved children, i always think about how you would be with mine...how excited you would have been for me.
I want you to know wherever you are right now, that i carry a piece of you in my heart forever and wherever i go. I'm certifying in grief counseling this year in November to be exact. Help me pass the exam. I want to help everyone who has been through the loss of a loved one or friend. I saw what your mom went through. In anyway i can i want to live knowing I'm doing something in your name!
I love you!
Daema
My friend, my angel, you live in my memory forever. Not a day goes by that i don't think about you and what life would be like if you were still here. How i could count on you for everything. You wouldn't judge me, i could tell you anything without fear of having you make fun of me and i know you felt the same way. I remember the last day i was able to see you and be with you. That Friday was so gloomy, the weather was horrible in school and i wasn't able to walk the same way that i usually did to see you and give you my daily letter. So you came to see me in algebra. You were so sweet. You came in and asked the teacher to let me out since i had already used up all my bathroom breaks LOL! And she let me go. Till this day i thank her for that. Those moments with you were incredible, i remember you hugged me and told me you loved me and i was the most special girl in the world. I praise that moment now more than ever because it was the last time you said it to me.
The next day you died. that Saturday night i was suppose to be with you and all the others. We should have been at the movies in dolphin mall. Fate works in mysterious ways and i will never truly understand why things didnt go as planned, why you didnt go home to sleep like you said you were going to do, why that motorcycle crashed that night, why you couldn't just get up and say you were OK. I remember getting a phone call at 5am from Miguel. And of course i thought it was a cruel joke. Since you guys were always playing with me. When he started crying i realized it was real. When i hung up the phone i was confused i started calling your cell but it was off. i couldn't believe it i ran to my moms room and was barely able to tell her what happened. I didn't eat real meals for days. The pain of losing you was horrible. We weren't friends for a long time but it sure felt like we were. In the little tim Seeing you dead was by far the worst test god has put me through till this day. How was closest friend lying dead in a casket at the age of 15? Why did my heart have to hurt this way? You were so cold and you just didnt look like you. We got to know each other we became so close. Why did god take you from me?
There were so many things i couldn't share with you. That year you weren't at my 15's. You would have been the life of the party...i wish i could upload the video of that day so you could see that you were mentioned and we prayed for you. We all had a good time but deep down all of us knew you weren't there. We weren't able to grow together. To experience life, our goals and dreams.
I wonder how close we would be now? how you loved children, i always think about how you would be with mine...how excited you would have been for me.
I want you to know wherever you are right now, that i carry a piece of you in my heart forever and wherever i go. I'm certifying in grief counseling this year in November to be exact. Help me pass the exam. I want to help everyone who has been through the loss of a loved one or friend. I saw what your mom went through. In anyway i can i want to live knowing I'm doing something in your name!
I love you!
Daema
R.I.P. Carlos R. Martinez a.k.a "Ghettoman"
8/1/1986/12/9/2001
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Determination
Good morning everyone!
I have been considering so many blog posts for today and asked many for their opinions. In a texting conversation with my cousins Jose, i found exactly what i wanted to write about. Thanks primo for the inspiration and idea!
So as many of you already know i have 2 beautiful and simply amazing little girls who are the light of my life! That being said my oldest daughter who just recently turned 6 was born when i was just 17 years old approximately 2 months prior to my 18th birthday.
I remember the day that i found out i was pregnant! I was a senior in high school and it was a Saturday morning in September. I remember walking up and thinking, "OMG, why haven't i gotten my monthly friend?" So of course panic starting setting in....I honestly felt like a chicken without a head...running in circles trying to find my way around....that morning i called my now husband Gabriel and said, "You need to come over". Without any explanation he came. We went off to by a pregnancy test.
A few minutes after BAM! the results...i was in the bathroom alone, i waited an d waited and waited what seemed like hours for a 2 minute result. And there i had it PREGNANT! Oh boy, my mind was racing, my heart was pounding, and i can feel the ball at the start of my stomach.
The first thing i said when i walked out of that bathroom was "Are you ready to be a father?" i remember his face as if i still had him standing in front of me. He was ecstatic, over joyed, so happy and i thought how can he be so happy? Don't get me wrong i was excited i thought about how cute my baby would be and how much of an awesome mom i would be and how i would give everything up to be just that. But then i thought...what will my mom say? Will i finish school? College? My job? WAAAYYYY to many things were crossing my mind.
That day we went to eat lunch at Pollo Tropical, no one knew anything yet so Gabriel decided to call his brother Steve. So as he calls his brother he says "So tio how are you?" And i could hear Steve saying "Shut up stop playing" and then Gabriel said it again. I'm sure Steve was panicking on the other end of line thinking OMG my brother is such a fool! Then i decided to at least share with someone, i wasn't ready to share with my mom yet so i called my friend Jennie. She was very supportive and a few days later even bought my some baby outfits.
That afternoon i told Gabriel i cant take it anymore i need to tell my mom. My mom and I have always been very close and I can never hide anything from her. Even if it takes me a few hours to practice how to break the news i do it. So i decided that i wasn't ready to face her but i called. So i told her "Mom we need to talk" as soon as the words came out of my mouth she said "You're pregnant aren't you?" I couldn't answer, i remember thinking "My god this woman is psychic." Now i know its a mother instinct. You kind of just know whats going on without really knowing for sure. And i said "Yes"
That night we sat down my mom, Jorge (My dad) Gabriel and I and thought about the future in a few months we would welcome our baby so we needed a plan.
I have to say it worked out for the best. I never planned on having babies at such a young age, my dreams and goals were to go to school, live on my own, buy a house, a car and then eventually meet Mr. Right and get married. After college have babies and continue on. I did everything backwards! LOL!
I met Mr. Right, had some babies, got married, bought a car, then a house and I'm still in the process of finishing college.
I don't promote teenage pregnancy. My life has not been easy. I can no longer be selfish and just think about myself. At a very early age i had to learn how to be a responsible adult, a good wife, a parent, pay bills i didn't have to pay before etc...
I was DETERMINED not to be a statistic. Teen Mom doesn't amount to anything because she had a child at 17. No that was not going to be me. I had different plans. I had dreams, goals, aspirations to meet. And i set of to do just that.
I quit my job when i was 8 months pregnant and graduated high school a few months after that. My daughter was born in May and she was the cutest most amazing little person in the world. I remember counting her fingers and toes to make sure she was put together just right LOL! That day was by far the most amazing day of my life. (Of course and the birth of my second daughter)
I wanted to be home with her all the time. So that's what i did. I was a stay at home mom for about a year and then decided i need to start looking into college. In fall 2006 i started College. my daughter was only 15 months old. I also started working full time. My granny, agreed to quit her job and watch her for me. My wonderful grandma she so amazing always did everything to help me and see me succeed.
Right when i was about to graduate we decided it was time to welcome another baby into our lives and in march 2009 we welcomed our second daughter. I'm proud to say i graduated with a Bachelors of Science in Psychology in August 2009. And went straight into the Doctoral program 2 weeks later. This year I'll be walking the stage again for my Masters degree in Psychology and god willing in 2014 will complete the doctoral program.
The point of this blog is to give others hope. If you feel stuck and are in a situation that you cant get out of and feel you need to give up. DON'T! Stick to your goals, your dreams, be DETERMINED! Everything is possible through faith and good support. Reach out to others, count on your family and remember that only you can set out to make your life the way you want it. You are in control and in life we will encounter moments that are not always pleasant that make you fall onto your knees but we must continue to live the best way we can. Don't let obstacles change your life and the course of it. Motivate your self to be the best you can be. YOU HAVE IT IN YOU!!
XOXO,
Daema
I have been considering so many blog posts for today and asked many for their opinions. In a texting conversation with my cousins Jose, i found exactly what i wanted to write about. Thanks primo for the inspiration and idea!
So as many of you already know i have 2 beautiful and simply amazing little girls who are the light of my life! That being said my oldest daughter who just recently turned 6 was born when i was just 17 years old approximately 2 months prior to my 18th birthday.
I remember the day that i found out i was pregnant! I was a senior in high school and it was a Saturday morning in September. I remember walking up and thinking, "OMG, why haven't i gotten my monthly friend?" So of course panic starting setting in....I honestly felt like a chicken without a head...running in circles trying to find my way around....that morning i called my now husband Gabriel and said, "You need to come over". Without any explanation he came. We went off to by a pregnancy test.
A few minutes after BAM! the results...i was in the bathroom alone, i waited an d waited and waited what seemed like hours for a 2 minute result. And there i had it PREGNANT! Oh boy, my mind was racing, my heart was pounding, and i can feel the ball at the start of my stomach.
The first thing i said when i walked out of that bathroom was "Are you ready to be a father?" i remember his face as if i still had him standing in front of me. He was ecstatic, over joyed, so happy and i thought how can he be so happy? Don't get me wrong i was excited i thought about how cute my baby would be and how much of an awesome mom i would be and how i would give everything up to be just that. But then i thought...what will my mom say? Will i finish school? College? My job? WAAAYYYY to many things were crossing my mind.
That day we went to eat lunch at Pollo Tropical, no one knew anything yet so Gabriel decided to call his brother Steve. So as he calls his brother he says "So tio how are you?" And i could hear Steve saying "Shut up stop playing" and then Gabriel said it again. I'm sure Steve was panicking on the other end of line thinking OMG my brother is such a fool! Then i decided to at least share with someone, i wasn't ready to share with my mom yet so i called my friend Jennie. She was very supportive and a few days later even bought my some baby outfits.
That afternoon i told Gabriel i cant take it anymore i need to tell my mom. My mom and I have always been very close and I can never hide anything from her. Even if it takes me a few hours to practice how to break the news i do it. So i decided that i wasn't ready to face her but i called. So i told her "Mom we need to talk" as soon as the words came out of my mouth she said "You're pregnant aren't you?" I couldn't answer, i remember thinking "My god this woman is psychic." Now i know its a mother instinct. You kind of just know whats going on without really knowing for sure. And i said "Yes"
That night we sat down my mom, Jorge (My dad) Gabriel and I and thought about the future in a few months we would welcome our baby so we needed a plan.
I have to say it worked out for the best. I never planned on having babies at such a young age, my dreams and goals were to go to school, live on my own, buy a house, a car and then eventually meet Mr. Right and get married. After college have babies and continue on. I did everything backwards! LOL!
I met Mr. Right, had some babies, got married, bought a car, then a house and I'm still in the process of finishing college.
I don't promote teenage pregnancy. My life has not been easy. I can no longer be selfish and just think about myself. At a very early age i had to learn how to be a responsible adult, a good wife, a parent, pay bills i didn't have to pay before etc...
I was DETERMINED not to be a statistic. Teen Mom doesn't amount to anything because she had a child at 17. No that was not going to be me. I had different plans. I had dreams, goals, aspirations to meet. And i set of to do just that.
I quit my job when i was 8 months pregnant and graduated high school a few months after that. My daughter was born in May and she was the cutest most amazing little person in the world. I remember counting her fingers and toes to make sure she was put together just right LOL! That day was by far the most amazing day of my life. (Of course and the birth of my second daughter)
I wanted to be home with her all the time. So that's what i did. I was a stay at home mom for about a year and then decided i need to start looking into college. In fall 2006 i started College. my daughter was only 15 months old. I also started working full time. My granny, agreed to quit her job and watch her for me. My wonderful grandma she so amazing always did everything to help me and see me succeed.
Right when i was about to graduate we decided it was time to welcome another baby into our lives and in march 2009 we welcomed our second daughter. I'm proud to say i graduated with a Bachelors of Science in Psychology in August 2009. And went straight into the Doctoral program 2 weeks later. This year I'll be walking the stage again for my Masters degree in Psychology and god willing in 2014 will complete the doctoral program.
The point of this blog is to give others hope. If you feel stuck and are in a situation that you cant get out of and feel you need to give up. DON'T! Stick to your goals, your dreams, be DETERMINED! Everything is possible through faith and good support. Reach out to others, count on your family and remember that only you can set out to make your life the way you want it. You are in control and in life we will encounter moments that are not always pleasant that make you fall onto your knees but we must continue to live the best way we can. Don't let obstacles change your life and the course of it. Motivate your self to be the best you can be. YOU HAVE IT IN YOU!!
XOXO,
Daema
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Appreciate
Hi everyone,
Ive been meaning to post for the past few days now but i havent had a chance to sit by a computer. School has started again and with the girls being sick and all i havent had much time to do anything really!
Anyway as you all know im in school studying psychology. Im doing my practicum at JMH this semester and will be there for a year and hopefully apply for internship and stay there. Its an absolutely amazing experience, I honestly dont know how to explain it but its great!
With being there for the past few weeks now i see a lot of tragic things that happen to people. I deal a lot with TBI patients (Traumatic Brain Injury) a lot of them have either been hit by cars, shot, fell etc...its really any time of blunt force to the head that can cause damage.
My point in explaining all of this is that ive come to realize how these lives ive seen most have been cut short. Even though i havent witnessed any of my patients die, (THANK GOD) they will probably never live the same lives again. There are a few in the crowd that get lucky and have a full recovery as if the incident never occurred but there are the others that just never really regain the full capacity of living they had before and that my friends is my point.
This type of experience makes me look into my own life and value all that i have. Even though im constantly looking for ways to better myself or give more to my kids, i can stop now and attend to the detail. The fact that even though my grandmother is sick that she has a chronic kidney disease, god has given her a chance for transplant and with the grace of god will get past this obstacle in life. That i have a healthy family and loving parents. That even though my father is not part of my life i can say that its not my fault and still forgive him for all that he has done. That my husband is a caring man and a wonderful human being with such a kind heart and loving soul. That my kids are healthy, smart, beautiful and full of joy and laughter. By far those are the beautiful things we all dont think about everyday but they are there.
We all have lives, we are all humans, we fight, we love, we cry, we smile, we are capable of almost everything, except for flying ( give it a few years some nut case scientist will fly soon LOL!) Anyway, dont spend time being angry with people, dont spenmd time stressing and working your brain to the rotten core for something that isnt worth it. Life is only one and we must live it like if it was our last day here.
Many of my patients got up in the morning and left their home thinking that it would be a regular day, some of them to never return. I want you all to take into account all the wonderful thingas you have in life and not focus so much on what is missing and what you havent been able to obtain yet. Be grateful, say thank you, love one another and remind everyone you love that you love them. Nothing is certain in this world but one thing and thats death.
If you set your mind to obtain something stop waisting time and go get it, dont procrastinate, dont leave things undone, have fun, go out, eat your favorite foods every once and a while, enjoy yourself and remember to always be true to you!
So i end this topic with, be FREE, LOVE, LIVE and LAUGH! Tomorrow is not certain!
XOXO
Daema
Ive been meaning to post for the past few days now but i havent had a chance to sit by a computer. School has started again and with the girls being sick and all i havent had much time to do anything really!
Anyway as you all know im in school studying psychology. Im doing my practicum at JMH this semester and will be there for a year and hopefully apply for internship and stay there. Its an absolutely amazing experience, I honestly dont know how to explain it but its great!
With being there for the past few weeks now i see a lot of tragic things that happen to people. I deal a lot with TBI patients (Traumatic Brain Injury) a lot of them have either been hit by cars, shot, fell etc...its really any time of blunt force to the head that can cause damage.
My point in explaining all of this is that ive come to realize how these lives ive seen most have been cut short. Even though i havent witnessed any of my patients die, (THANK GOD) they will probably never live the same lives again. There are a few in the crowd that get lucky and have a full recovery as if the incident never occurred but there are the others that just never really regain the full capacity of living they had before and that my friends is my point.
This type of experience makes me look into my own life and value all that i have. Even though im constantly looking for ways to better myself or give more to my kids, i can stop now and attend to the detail. The fact that even though my grandmother is sick that she has a chronic kidney disease, god has given her a chance for transplant and with the grace of god will get past this obstacle in life. That i have a healthy family and loving parents. That even though my father is not part of my life i can say that its not my fault and still forgive him for all that he has done. That my husband is a caring man and a wonderful human being with such a kind heart and loving soul. That my kids are healthy, smart, beautiful and full of joy and laughter. By far those are the beautiful things we all dont think about everyday but they are there.
We all have lives, we are all humans, we fight, we love, we cry, we smile, we are capable of almost everything, except for flying ( give it a few years some nut case scientist will fly soon LOL!) Anyway, dont spend time being angry with people, dont spenmd time stressing and working your brain to the rotten core for something that isnt worth it. Life is only one and we must live it like if it was our last day here.
Many of my patients got up in the morning and left their home thinking that it would be a regular day, some of them to never return. I want you all to take into account all the wonderful thingas you have in life and not focus so much on what is missing and what you havent been able to obtain yet. Be grateful, say thank you, love one another and remind everyone you love that you love them. Nothing is certain in this world but one thing and thats death.
If you set your mind to obtain something stop waisting time and go get it, dont procrastinate, dont leave things undone, have fun, go out, eat your favorite foods every once and a while, enjoy yourself and remember to always be true to you!
So i end this topic with, be FREE, LOVE, LIVE and LAUGH! Tomorrow is not certain!
XOXO
Daema
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Update
Hi there,
So its been almost 2 years since i wrote anything here and i must add how much Ive missed it. Well, i didn't think about it everyday but today i felt like there was something missing, something i hadn't been keeping up with and boom it hit me. Writing for me is like therapy, it makes me feel like some kind of weight has been lifted and I'm not longer carrying the giant on my back every where i go.
OK, so wow 2 years is quite a long time and boy have things changed since then. I am no longer working as a full time legal secretary for starters, i cant say i miss it because id be lying to you, but i didn't enjoy my job. I left my job in order to pursue the dream of becoming a psychologist. In August 2009 i started in the doctoral program and am still going strong! I'm proud to say that i just recently finished the requirements for the masters degree and will once again be walking the stage for graduation in October this year. Yes, I'm very excited and happy about it!
So I'm not going to bore you all with whats changed in my life just some updates is good enough. If anyone of you would like to see a specific topic please share with me under this post and ill make sure to honor any request :)
Thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read my blogs and hopefully you will continue to visit from here on out and share on here as well.
XOXO,
Daema
So its been almost 2 years since i wrote anything here and i must add how much Ive missed it. Well, i didn't think about it everyday but today i felt like there was something missing, something i hadn't been keeping up with and boom it hit me. Writing for me is like therapy, it makes me feel like some kind of weight has been lifted and I'm not longer carrying the giant on my back every where i go.
OK, so wow 2 years is quite a long time and boy have things changed since then. I am no longer working as a full time legal secretary for starters, i cant say i miss it because id be lying to you, but i didn't enjoy my job. I left my job in order to pursue the dream of becoming a psychologist. In August 2009 i started in the doctoral program and am still going strong! I'm proud to say that i just recently finished the requirements for the masters degree and will once again be walking the stage for graduation in October this year. Yes, I'm very excited and happy about it!
So I'm not going to bore you all with whats changed in my life just some updates is good enough. If anyone of you would like to see a specific topic please share with me under this post and ill make sure to honor any request :)
Thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read my blogs and hopefully you will continue to visit from here on out and share on here as well.
XOXO,
Daema
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